I'm In!

So on Tuesday Sept 2 I came into work a little late. I had a lot on my mind.

Now the office is a little cramped for space. One larger than medium sized loft style room to house all 0f the content managers (me and Woody), the tatooed love boy graphic design team, the great unshowered front and back end developers, a technical manager and a guy who I wasn't what quite sure of what he did.

So there isn't much privacy, any kind of personal message spoken aloud becomes an instant bit of office fodder being IM'd from one person to another. I open the desktop and turn on the IM and start typing to Woody.

Woody, my co-conspirator in content management crime and one of my very best friends for the last 13ish years, is already typing away working on something, probably not a work something. She needs a good 20 minutes and a large java to ease in. As usual, her fiery red hair is still drenched from the shower, so I know I am not that late.

She sits about 18 inches away from me. Ye,t I type important words, VERY important words. This is too important to be spoken aloud.

DaveCP: So October 1
Woody: Yeah?
DaveCP: Neil Diamond
DaveCP: Hollywood Bowl
Woody: Nice
DaveCP: Hoping for a clear night..

At this point, I realize something. I need to say it out loud. It's still "just an idea" until you say it out loud. It's just "sumptin ya thinkin' about" until you say it out loud.

I swivel my chair towards her, place my hands in a clasp at my knees assuming the Clinton powerful pose and my best smile Paul Newmans me.

"I am proposing to Lynne."

"Really?"

"Yup, I'm in"

Also aware of her lack of privacy, in her lowest alto, her eyes widen and says in a hushed tone "GETOUT!"

In retrospect, "I'm in" may not sound like the sexiest thing to say. However, you don't need flowery speech when you make the biggest decision you have ever made. "I'm in" means a lot in my rulebook, but I have always thought that loyalty is simple thing; either you are in or you're not. Loyalty is big, because there are so many things that shake it. But it easy "to get." For the most part, you can figure it out in 30 seconds talking to someone. You either get someone or you don't. Let's say it didn't work out after 10 years. Male, Female, Platonic, not so Platonice, whatever, there was something in the first 30 seconds you chose to ignore. In the first 30 seconds, you are in or you are not.

So, by the law of transitivity.. you don't know how hot "I'm in." is. Don' t pretend you know something I don't.

Even in my dwindling 30's, I have seen enough that living with someone the better part of 24/7 can destroy relationships. even those of the roommate variety.

It was odd to tell Woody first. We had tried the dating thing for a while twelve years ago but it just wasn't us. Twelve years ago, I never thought that she would be the first person to know about my pending attempt at nuptials. I also know the she never thought about it once and was equally shocked. We give each other a knowing "huh? whoda thunk?" smirk and shoulder shrug and are immediately back on our keyboards, IMing from 18 inches away.

Woody: "Do you have a ring?"
DaveCP: "Nope."
Woody: "Can you afford a ring?"
DaveCP: "Nope. Not the one I want to give her. You know, that whole three months thing..."
Woody: "That's fucking bullshit myth."
DaveCP "Don't care, I gotta month to figure it out. Want to know what I DO know?"
Woody: "What?"
DaveCP: "I've made up my mind and I can't wait anymore."

I had made this decision just 24 hours earlier, but you have to go back six months to really appreciate it.